Struggling to be Heard



listen to me... by Michela Mongardi (keela84) via flickr

We recently started a new Bible study. My husband is presenting some of the material he recently covered in one of his Course of Study classes at a nearby seminary. It's based on his New Testament class, and some of his topics include the Messianic Secret, Markan priority, and the criterion of embarrassment.

 

This material was... not received well.

 

It was very frustrating for him, because his initial exposure to this material was exciting and challenging to him. He was sure that it would be the same for the Bible study group.

 

It wasn't.

They just weren't that into it.

 

It brought up so many thoughts for me.

--Didn't Chris pray about starting this Bible study before he decided to do it?

--What was his purpose for the study? What was his mission?

--Did he allow his own excitement and desire to delve into the more... historical analysis of Scripture keep him from hearing God's voice about it?

I still don't know the answers to these questions, even though we've discussed them. I don't ask these questions in a position of superiority or to interrogate. I ask them because of my love for Chris & the church we've been asked to serve.
 

And although I find these sort of topics intellectually interesting, they don't speak to my spirit like they do for Chris. Maybe our precious congregants are more like me.

 

I can understand Chris's frustration.

What do we do when we encounter those who aren't ready to hear what we want to say?

Sometimes it's someone who isn't a believer; other times it's our children refusing to listen to our wisdom.

It can be your best friend, who, despite your best advice, does her own thing anyway. Or it could be your employer, who makes you think you must be speaking a foreign language, for all that's getting through to her.

It might be your pastor, who comes to visit, but changes the subject when you begin to unburden your heart. It might be your congregants that let you know that they don't like your Bible study.

 

If we count the number of times we are not heard, misunderstood, or shut down, we can become disheartened.

 

But Jesus has already borne this burden for us as well. Scripture is full of examples of people who would not hear what he had to say. The rich man went away sad, because he didn't want to hear the answer Jesus gave him.(Matthew 19:21-22). The disciples asked him questions that would surely have seemed inane had he not been Merciful God-- requests like

--show us the Father. (John 14:8)

and

--let us sit at your right and left hands (Mark 10:37).

 

Did Jesus feel the frustration of not being heard?

 

What should we do with our frustration?

 

1. Pray about you

Pray about your intentions. Are you presenting something because it interests or speaks to you? Are you talking because it makes you feel smart or wise? Or are you prayerfully considering what you should say to this person that will benefit them?
 

2. Pray about them

Then pray for your listener. If you feel that what you are saying is indeed something they need to hear, then pray for a softening of their heart, pray for time and opportunity.
 

 3. Present your message

Present your message in the best time and place for the other person. Teenagers are notorious for being ready to talk when you're busy doing something.

Speak (or write) with respect and love for the other person.

 

4. Put it down

Sometimes you're not the one. Sometimes you don't get to reap this particular harvest. Sometimes your husband will come home from a conference with a new nugget he learned there-- that same nugget you've been trying to give him for months.

Christine @ Grace Covers Me said this best: "I can't change anyone--not myself, not my husband, not my children, not people in our church. This truth elevates the role of prayer in my life: I can ask God to bring change and be a part of change through prayer."

 

Tell me in what ways you struggle to be heard.

Shared with Live Called for Thrive @ Home

 

On moving...

As I'm writing this, it's 20 days until moving day. Now, moving day has been defined as "the day we move the big furniture in the truck." We haven't yet reserved a truck. I guess Hubby thinks one will just drive itself up on the day. Today I asked Hubby to call our contact at our new church (more on this later), and ask if we can pick up the keys on the Monday of moving week. I would like to spend the first part of the week painting and lining shelves and drawers, and moving items that belong to the church to places I want them in the house. Mostly painting. I've never before been allowed to paint my own house/apartment. And I'm very excited! And trying not to over do it on paint colors/schemes/total revamping of the house.

The reason we are moving about 30 minutes up the road ("up the road" is probably a colloquialism-- it means "away-- but not far away") is that Hubby is being moved to a new church. He is a United Methodist pastor, which makes me a pastor's wife. And makes P a "PK" or "preacher's kid" as Hubby taught me to say, having been one himself. As United Methodists, we move every 2-4 years or so, or just about the time you get a good thing going.

We're, of course, very excited to be moving to a new church. We always are excited about a move, but this one seems particularly to be a good fit. Hubs does not visit people in their homes, and these people are more than okay with that.

We've met the people coming in behind us, and they are probably the closest in personality/theology to us as any we've ever met. And since we'll be so close, dare I say it, we may can be friends with this other couple.

About every three years, I get a fresh start. I move to a new town, get a new house, meet entirely new people, shop at new stores, eat at new restaurants.

The pros of this are pretty obvious to me. I love it; it's a chance to start totally new. You know that feeling of getting a brand new hair cut you really love? Our moving is like that multiplied.

Cons have been hard for me to come by. Packing may be the closest to a con. But even that is somewhat enjoyable. It's a survey of all our stuff, so we get to downsize if we choose. It's also like a game I play, a challenge to get the most stuff in the least amount of boxes.

Now that Little Bit is here, we may experience more cons in the future with leaving schools & friends, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Do you like moving? Why have you moved?