Falling Down: 31 Days is Hard

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."-- Anne Shirley, with an 'e'



Image credit: Andrea_44 via Flickr

Oh yes, I'm glad, too, Anne. A refreshed love for October has been kindled in me this year because of 31 Days, the blogging phenomenon, started by the Nester, that has taken on the blogosphere and showed many of us who's the boss. Hint: it's not us.

Why are we drawn to it? Why are we attempting to bleed out 31 posts of provoking words, eliciting emotion, and pinnable images?

Here's my theory this year, my first year, of why it's an alluring challenge:

31 days is hard.

It's a challenge. It teaches you if you have writing chops, or writing tartare. It teaches whether you have passion for this space of internet real estate that you look at every.single.day., or... not.

If you started early, with half of your posts written, I admire you. Snaps. If you started like me, with five posts done on October 1, I feel you. Snaps. If you're doing this day by day, I want to meet you. Snaps.

For many, our blogs are our songs, our stories, our diaries, our love letters to our Savior, to our friends, to our families. And if we commit to nurture, nourish, and nurse these blogs for the time it takes to produce 31 posts in a row, we can't help but learn and grow.

What am I learning?
1) My writing style evolves daily, and I love that. I'm an embracer of change, and get bored quite easily.
2) Keeping a promise and completing a challenge are more important to me than ever before in my life. And I take this as a good sign.
3) Slow & steady wins the race. I'm behind by two days, and I've fallen from the original plan; but I'm still plugging along, fully intending to finish what I started.
4) It's okay to take a break when you need it-- to enjoy, to refresh, to listen.
5) I'm learning what works for me as a writer, as an artist, and for finding inspiration. I'm learning how to write-through.

It remains a challenge, and sometimes it seems a daunting and mocking task-master. But then I remember who is the boss... the One who loves me, the One who said it was okay to take on this challenge, and I say to 31 Days: "You're my challenge. You belong to me. I'll be calling the shots."

What is 31 Days teaching you? Is your subject matter or your process? Are you writing or reading this year?

For Every Season

Image derived from Fallen Leaves by Andrea_44 via Flickr

 

What season are you in?

 

Are you beginning something?

Are you in the middle of a storm?

Are you at the end?

 

 

As you delight in His seasons, in His grand design of life, for His planet-- remember that your life and your seasons are His delight.

 

Praise Him for your springs, for your beginnings, for your births, for your fresh leaves

Laze with Him through your summer, through your time of contentment, through your sunshine

Recognize Him with your autumn, with your reminiscing, with your harvest, with your golden-ness

Hide in Him through your winter, through your storms and snow, through the bite of frost

 

Be His delight.

 

 

 

This post is part of our 31 Days of Fall series from October 2013.

 

Shared with Time-Warp Wife

 

Falling in Love: The Story of Your Birth

As part of our 31 Days of Fall, we'll be falling in love on Saturdays this month. Our first story is about the birth of P, our super special bundle of joy, and how I fell in love with him . This is not a method birth story, so no contractions or episiotomies, (but we love to hear about those from you strong mommas out there!) but more of a love story. Feel free to share links to your own birth stories in the comments-- I would love to hear about your experiences!

A Little About PCOS

I'm thrilled to be sharing my birth story for my first child. I was first inspired to write this when I read this excellent post, and then excited to share it @ Intentional By Grace.

At the age of 18, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and later with Insulin Resistance. Many women with these conditions have difficulty conceiving and maintaining healthy pregnancies.

One of the problems women with PCOS face is a progesterone deficiency. Progesterone is a hormone your body produces naturally. It increases rapidly during the first trimester, then drops off. Because women with PCOS often do not produce an adequate level of progesterone naturally, they often miscarry early in pregnancy.

If you know someone who has struggled with early-term miscarriages, please refer them to The PCOS Foundation.

A Love Letter to P

I wanted you from the time I held my first baby doll; I wanted you. Deeply, in my soul, was a desire to create you and love you and nurture you. God put that desire in my heart. God put my longing for you in my heart so that I would bring wonderful you into this world for His plans.

One day, when I was a lowly intern working for Child Protective Services in Gadsden, Alabama, a beautiful lady named Betty listened to my fears that I would never get married and have you. She told me that God had put that desire in my heart, and that He would never have put it there, without having a perfect plan to fulfill that desire.

I held that whispered truth in my heart, until I heard the Next Whispered Truth. Your father and I had met already, but that is another story for another time. I was sitting in the balcony of the church that Daddy was pastoring when we met, watching him play with children. I heard the Next Truth not with my ears, but with my heart. “You will have his children one day,” was clear like a bell, and warm like pajama pants. I knew it was true; I knew it was God's own secret promise to me... to be revealed in His perfect timing.

Daddy & I got married, and I wondered when you would come. Sometimes, mommies have problems waiting for their babies. Sometimes, mommies wait a long time, and we cry and pray, because we have that God-authored desire within us. When you are older, you will understand this more. I will tell you the story of Hannah and how she longed for Samuel, her baby boy. You will begin to understand.

The truth is, Mommy was afraid of waiting like Hannah. Mommy was afraid that she might have to hurt and cry, and that was scary for me. See Mommy has some things about her organs that are different... and other women like Mommy have had to wait for babies because their organs are different. Nana Jejo and Granmother were afraid, too, but they didn't tell me until later. But guess what? God didn't make us wait. He sent you!

I thought you were there, growing in my belly. I had an inkling, and I told Daddy one Sunday morning. He was making your Kenzie some pancakes. He said, “Okay, I have to go make pancakes.” You may notice Mommy talks a lot more than Daddy... this is because Daddies like to think about things while they make breakfast.

Sure enough, we went to a doctor, and she told us you were there, growing away, right in Mommy's belly. I was very happy (but also still a little scared, you know, because of that thing with my different organs). So I talked to the doctor about that, and she said she would test Mommy and see.

Later, the doctor's nurse called. They said that something was wrong, and they wanted to do an ultrasound, which is a fancy way of saying they wanted to take your picture. So Daddy and I went and got your picture taken, and they couldn't find you. Mommy sat in a huge waiting room, watching all the beautiful Mommas with big, pregnant bellies, and brand new Mommas with tiny, sleeping bundles of perfection and wanted to yell. I was hurting, and mad, and grief-stricken, and I wanted to know why in world they didn't have a “Your Body Doesn't Work Right, So Sit In Here” waiting room.

The doctor told Mommy that you would not be born. She told Mommy that this was okay, that it happens a lot, and that Mommy could try again to have another baby. Andma was there. She watched me smile and ask very intelligent questions to the doctor. She watched me thank the doctor politely, and watched me hold it together as the lab technician stuck my arm to draw out blood. She walked with me to the car, where she put her arms around me, and with tears in her eyes, explained to me, “You can understand this all scientifically and medically, but it's okay for it to hurt.” Mommy cried-- a lot. Mommy cried most of the way home.

A few days later, another nurse called. She said, “We reviewed your blood work. Your progesterone has doubled own its own. Dr. [name withheld] is on vacation, but we had another doctor that works with us look at it, and she wants to prescribe you this.” God sent our first doctor on vacation, P! Mommy went to get the medicine that the second doctor wanted me take, but I had to wait. The pharmacy couldn't fill it until the next day. Mommy was scared again... what if something happened to you in the meantime? How could I wait 24 hours? When would could I get off this jubilant/despairing rollercoaster?

Listen closely, child, to the next part. I drove home. I prayed hard. I told God that I was afraid my body couldn't hold you, couldn't keep you safe-- so I asked God to hold you for me. I prayed—silently, out loud-- until I reached a certain stop sign. I sat at that stop sign (I will take you there someday), and said, “I don't know what else to say.” Then something different happened. Mommy opened her mouth, and something different came out. A prayer language, little one, was being spoken for you. The Holy Spirit was speaking to God the Father for us-- for me and you.

Fast-forward, about 8 months. Mommy and Aunt Charity are looking a new picture of you. We think your fist is by your face. The ultrasound technician says no, that's your foot. Mommy is only 5'2”. There was no where else for you to grow! We decided to meet you the next day.

Mommy and Daddy were in the room when you cried for the first time. Daddy says my face lit up, and hasn't looked the same since. Daddy held you first. There's a picture of Kenzie holding you with the same look that Daddy had. I've shown it to you probably 100 times by now.

When babies are growing in their mommies, they are in a big bubble filled with a special kind of water. The doctors who delivered you said that you and I had more special water than they had ever seen. Nana called this the evidence that God was holding you, like Mommy prayed for.

You are an absolute blessing from God. You were prayed for and planned for and loved beyond measure. No one can bring to the world or to others what God has planned to do through you. My prayers for you never stop.

We all love you, beautiful boy!

Love, Mommy

 

 

Shared with The Purposeful Mom

Crisp

 

Every year I wait for the crisp.

 

I wait for it... searching the sky for crisp, checking the weather for crisp, smelling the pumpkin coffees for crisp.

 

Nothing else replaces the crisp.

 

The front shelves are cleared first, nakedly exposed, waiting for their wigs and makeup, for their costumes and masks.

 

Then the pumpkins arrive: those huge orange thumpers. They pile up together as though they are children at a slumber party, waiting for the ghost stories to begin.

 

Football starts. Pads crunch together. Girls in houndstooth dresses and crimson heels smile together for photos.

 

Apples and cinnamon, and pumpkins once more, invite themselves to the Sunday covered dish.

 

Leaves fall and with a satisfying sound crumble under my feet, a long walk on organic bubble wrap.

 

Still I wait for the crisp.

 

The rain comes-- achingly slowly-- and replaces the hot Southern soaring temperatures with ever so slightly cooler ones, one. degree. at. a. time.

 

The Fair turns up. Subtly, powdered sugar and melted caramel and hay mingle with di-ding-ding-di-ding and whooshing wind of spinning swings.

 

The plastic tubs march down from the attic, purging themselves of scratchy wool, of soft scarves, or decades-old sweat shirts with their lullabye smells.

 

And I wait for the crisp.

 

The crisp will come--long awaited, like an celebrity, like a relative, arriving "fashionably late," knowing she is waited for, knowing she is anticipated, knowing she can start the party.

 

The crisp will come, and I will want so badly to breathe it in slowly, to savor my reward for my long wait. The crisp will laugh--as it stings my nose like an astringent, as it flies by in a brisk walk-- with a laugh like the snap of an apple. It will bring the real autumn in a rucksack, and cleverly drop it when I'm not looking, while I'm distracted by it's spectacle.

 

Then it will be gone-- leaving me to wait for waiting once more.

 

Join me every day in October for NaBloPoMo and 31 Days of Fall. See all the posts for 31 Days of Fall here.

 

 

31 Days of Fall

Welcome!

You're on the hub post of Grayberry's 31 Days of Fall series from October 2013.

Click on the links below to explore our autumnal posts; there's a little bit of everything.

Day 1-- Crisp

 Day 2- Crockpot Mulled Apple Cider
Day 3-- 5 (Truly) Last Minute Halloween Costumes
Day 4-- Disdain for Halloween
Day 5--Falling in Love: The Story of Your Birth
Day 6--Falling Asleep
Day 7-- Lies You're Telling Yourself About Syria (Special Post)
Day 8-- For Every Season
Day 9--Being a Witch
Day 10- Fall Break
Day 11- 10 Songs for Your Fall Playlist
Day 12-- Falling in Love: Best of 31 Day Bloggers

  

We're linking up with The Nester & BlogHer's NaBloPoMo.

How to {Really} Help New Bloggers- pt.4

Click here to read parts one, two, and three of this series.

In this series, we've talked about some of the most important things established bloggers can do to help new bloggers, and why you should want to. Here are twelve more actions you can take to intentionally help your Little Blogger Sisters (and brothers)!


1. Pray for us.
2. Encourage us.
3. Comment on our blogs. Remember your first comments? Just "Great post!" had you floating on air.
4. Follow us... pick one of your social media platforms and follow everyone using that platform. Yes, everyone!
5. Pick one or two of us that you really like... reach out to us.
6. Introduce us to your fellow bloggers.
7. Give us credit if we inspire you-- publicly.
8. Link to us. (Content Idea: A blog-roll post of the top 5 new bloggers you loved this year.)
9. Accept our guest posts. Or even ask us to guest post.
10. Suggest resources to us that are a good fit for us.
11. Answer us.
12. Coach us.

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. --John 13:35 ESV

We're here. Be here with us.

In what ways can a more experienced blogger help you? Comment below and share this post to spread the word!

How to {Really} Help New Bloggers- pt. 3

In this series, I'll be offering a newbie perspective on what experienced bloggers can really do to help and encourage new bloggers. Although most of these posts will be useful for any niche, I'm talking specifically to faith bloggers. Click to read part one and part two of this series.

 

Post about Etiquette

I'll wager that most new bloggers have Googled "blog etiquette" more than once. And while the rules of the blogosphere may seem like common sense to you, an established blogger now, they probably weren't always so clear.

--Is emailing someone you've never actually met appropriate? What should you say (or not say) in an email?
--Should you respond when someone retweets you? Should you respond when someone thanks you for retweeting them?
--Is asking for a follow in a comment on someone else's blog in poor taste?
--What's a blog roll and a button swap?
--Is it creepy if I "like" several posts in a row on FB, even if I really do like the post?

Each social network has different rules, and each niche has different "unspoken" norms, and each blogger has a preference. How do we wade through all this?

Obviously, it would be very poor etiquette to call someone out on a faux pas in a comment, a tweet, a FB post--anywhere "public." Is it okay to email someone if you think they're messing up?

The best thing you can do is to blog about the topic. By spelling out the mystery of blogiquette in posts, you spread the knowledge (and the love) without calling anyone out personally.

If the "Ins & Outs of Do's & Don'ts" is a post you're considering, consider making it a series. Here's some content-generating ideas to get the writing juices flowing:
--Ask your social media followers for suggestions on blog etiquette questions they're afraid to ask.
--Recount some of your newbie mistakes... and how you learned from them.
--Ask opinions from your fellow bloggers. Ask them to share their secret pet peeves they wish someone would address.


For some of you, blogging about blogiquette might not be a good fit for your blog or your mission. And that's okay.

If that's you, comment on or share posts about it. You many even guest post on the topic on a blog whose mission lines up with blog etiquette content. Guest posting is a great way to post something that may not be a good fit for your own blog.

What bloggy faux pas did you learn about the hard way? Share you experience with us!

Meet back on Monday for the final part of this series.

How to {Really} Help New Bloggers- pt.2

In this series, I'll be offering a newbie perspective on what experienced bloggers can really do to help and encourage new bloggers. Although most of these posts will be useful for any niche, I'm talking specifically to faith bloggers. You can read part one of this series here.

Imagine that you're in church next Sunday. You've just finished Sunday School, and it was amazing! Everything your leader said stirred your heart, and she said it so beautifully, so eloquently. You even like her outfit.

The wonderful, Godly lady that teaches your class is standing at the front, collecting her things. You see that she is quite busy trying to put her notes back in her bag, finish up her water so she can find a trash can and throw it away, and make it to the nearest restroom and into her seat before worship starts.

You think, "I really want her to know how much I enjoyed Sunday School. I want to encourage her, and let her know that someone was listening. I want to thank her for allowing God to use her in this way."

You struggle with the decision of whether to approach her or not. You're a little awed by her and don't want to look silly. You decide to go for it. "I'll just be really brief," you say.

So you slide quickly to the front of the room, and smile. "Thanks for such a great lesson! I really enjoyed it... I loved what you said about honoring our husbands. You're really a great speaker."

She just looks at you, and walks away.


I'm guest posting today over at  Blogging on the Side. Meet me there to continue and find out how to help new bloggers...

How to {Really} Help New Bloggers + and why you should want to...

In this series, I'll be offering a newbie perspective on what experienced bloggers can really do to help and encourage new bloggers. Although most of these posts will be useful for any niche, I'm talking specifically to faith bloggers.

Chances are, if you're even semi-successful at blogging, you've had help along the way. Someone pointed you in the right direction. Maybe you were lucky enough to have a mentor, a "big sister" blogger friend, or were invited into a group that helped and encouraged each other. And that's awesome!

That should be reason enough to pay-it-forward, as it were, to new bloggers who are coming along.

But just in case it's not, let's think about this.

¹² Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”  Luke 14:12-14 NIV

Jesus is at a Pharisee's home, eating at a banquet. There are probably several officials and politicians, church leaders, and other bigwigs at this party. The Bible says that Jesus was being "closely watched." It was another one of those, "Let's-trap-Jesus-by-asking-an-ambiguous-question" scenarios.

But he was closely watching the attendees of this dinner party as well.

He had some very good advice for them: (1) don't think more highly of yourself than you ought to... you'll only be embarrassed at the end, and (2) don't just hang with your clique, or the people who can repay or benefit you.

This is good advice for bloggers, too.

As successful bloggers, are you tempted to think more highly of yourself than you ought to? Are you just interacting with other successful bloggers, or those with even more readers, or Twitter followers, than you?

Or are you earnestly trying to help, and disciple, new bloggers?

New bloggers need training and encouragement just like new believers.

Of course Jesus followed his own advice:

¹⁴ When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. ¹⁵ And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. ¹⁶ For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”
¹⁷ After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. ¹⁸ For I tell you I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”
¹⁹ And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
²⁰ In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. -- Luke 22:14-20 NIV

He knew at this point, there was nothing the disciples could do for him. Eating the Last Supper with them wasn't about what Jesus would get out of it; it was about what he was doing for them.

The focus of blogging, especially in the faith arena, is to impact others. And while our missions are all different, we should ultimately be pointing to the Father.

Are you pointing your fellow bloggers to the Father, particularly the new ones? Are you encouraging them and teaching them how to point to the Father as well?

Come back Wednesday for Part Two of this series!

Aria

After lunch, my toddler takes a nap. I sit down at my laptop in my kitchen.

My mind and my heart are near bursting with all the thoughts and words and ideas that fill me.

 

I open one post or one document. I think for four seconds. I open another. I cannot still my mind. I cannot seem to put on the screen what I want to say about hospitality or forgiveness, so I move on. I end up staring at my laptop, watching in horror as my trains of thought wreck, or derail, or refuse to leave the station.

 

Why do I struggle so much to write when that seems to be all I want to do?

 

I hear the voice of doubt in the back of my mind. He whispers that I have no authority to write about love, no credentials to speak about peace or honesty.

 

What can I possibly say that other bloggers or writers haven't said already and in much clearer prose?

 

But then my Father whispers, too. He says not to worry about having authority or credentials. He's got those.

 

He says that although He has also influenced others to write about Him as well, they didn't write what He has given me to write. My story is different from their stories-- and someone needs to hear my story, just as I needed to hear the one's of those beautiful writers and wonder bloggers.

 

He reminds me that I am not a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. He reminds me that I have a desire to love others through words, and He has placed within me a near-need to write.

 

He's placed a desire in you as well. Whatever your thing is--photography, cosmetology, nursing, mothering, singing-- He is the author of that!

 

Look at your life, your relationships, your growth-- see that you have found truth and gained wisdom. He wants us to share those truths and that wisdom with others. He has called you to do so.

 

The Lord has given you a stage to perform for Him. Perform for Him; delight Him!

 

Do your thing.


Shared with Christian Mommy Blogger

Starting, or it's always been words

When I was a little girl, I had Sesame Street sheets. My mom would tuck me in, and "fly" the top sheet over me. This was, of course, for the purpose of straightening the tangled sheet from my tossing and turning the previous night. (Making the bed did not become a priority for me until later.)  But I believed this was simply something mommies & little girls did at bedtime- a sleepy time ritual. The only part of this sheet set that remains is this pillow case:

Notice the alphabet?  I didn't...  At least until last week when getting ready to pack for our upcoming move. I remembered Bert & Ernie, Big Bird, the smell, the feel, everything about those sheets. These sheets have been a vivid memory of my childhood since I realized one is supposed to have childhood memories. How did I just notice the gigantic letters? Where did the letters go?

That started me thinking-- what happens to the things we used to love as children? Most of my Sesame Street sheets are gone. But more than that, the letters were missing from my recollections. The things Rachel loved as a child- drawing trees, writing stories, acting in my own one-woman-shows in the woods behind my house- these things seem to disappear as I entered adulthood. I traded this precious, free-flowing part of the person I am for the strictly organized, college educated, analytical self I've become. I let the grownup me bully my inner child. I let my left brain kick the tail of my right brain, resulting in a self-esteem crisis for poor Righty.

It seems to me that each person is given an organic, natural desire to be creative, and that our society is set up to squash this. We spend so much time training and exercising our left brains, that our right brains become decayed and desperate for exercise. For me that exercise has generally been words. I'm no beautiful, poetic writer--possibly because I haven't allowed myself to attempt to be for so long. I spent years writing papers and reports-- things meant to record and inform-- not to express or inspire.

I'm on an expedition to live a more abundant life, to live authentically.

I'll take those lost letters off my Sesame Street sheets and begin putting them back together to find my words.